Dear Rev. Thank you for this website. Hope you know how much it helps me. I wanted to find out where exactly do you draw the line when it comes to being physically intimate with someone who is not yet your husband? Is kissing not allowed till you are married? Can you cuddle each other and sleep in the same bed if you feel you have the self control and have agreed not to make love till you are married. Like when you go on a holiday together so that you don’t have to book separate rooms.

Thank you for your kind words about the web site.

It would be naive to think that being physically close to someone of the opposite sex wouldn’t stimulate sexual desires. We’re made that way. This is why couples must decide to make boundaries for themselves. They should decide as a couple what arouses them to the point they are thinking sexually. Whatever that is, they should agree to avoid it out of respect for each other. It could be kissing, but not cuddling or the other way around. Regardless, the other person must be respected. However, when it comes to spending overnight in a hotel or sleeping together, that’s crossing the line. The Bible says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” – Hebrews 13:4  In other words, sharing a bed is for married couples. The bottom line is that you should respect your fiancé so much that you would never put him/her in a position to be tempted. This way you honor them and God. Sex is a gift from God that shouldn’t be opened until the honeymoon. No peeking either!