I am a Christian who accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was nine years old. The bad thing is I have been away from God and have battled with internet porn. Recently I have gone to church regularly and read the Bible for spiritual growth. I have not looked at any porn lately and am starting to hate it. I have looked at a tasteful lingerie site and had self-gratification from their figures. I didn’t have any fantasy, but just admired them. Is this a horrible sin hurting God or does he know I am human and forgives me easily when I repent for this? Surely this isn’t as bad as porn, is it?

It’s true that looking at a lingerie site isn’t as “bad” as viewing porn. However, Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” – Matthew 5:28. I don’t know how anyone could look at a woman wearing lingerie and not lust! I appreciate your honesty and believe you want to please God in this. However, you mentioned being self-gratified by looking at these women and that’s a problem too! We were created with sexual desire, but self-gratification isn’t the way to go. Instead, we have to learn to control sexual desire. The Bible says, “Each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God” – I Thessalonians 4:4-5. There’s a popular saying that women are like flowers to look at and it’s okay to enjoy them as long as you don’t pick them. However, this can be deceitful. Who can stare at a woman half dressed for very long and not lust?

I’m glad you want to get back on track in your relationship with God. I know you said you are “human”, but that includes a sinful nature which we are not to yield to. I would recommend reading the book of Romans in the Bible, chapters 6-8. This explains the struggle Christians have with sin and how to overcome it. Also, why keep on repenting for the same thing when God wants you to have victory over it?

There’s a book I highly recommend called “Every Man’s Battle”. It will help you understand sexual desire and how to control it. Here’s where you can get the book:

Every Man’s Battle with Workbook: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time By Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker / Random House, Inc Today’s media bombards men with sexual images and temptation, so it’s no wonder that “sexual addiction” is on the rise—even within the church. In this compassionate brother-to-brother guide, Arterburn and Stoeker tackle this serious problem head-on, offering a practical battle plan for men—married or single—who desire to live by God’s standard. Includes workbook. 368 pages, softcover from Waterbrook.

In the mean time I will keep you in my prayers and please feel free to email anytime. God bless you!