When I was much younger I decided that I would remain a virgin and not have sex until I was going to be married. I kept what I wanted and only had sex with the person I married. Unfortunately, the marriage is over. He divorced me over a year ago and it’s getting to the place where I am dating now. Now I have the questions about sex. I was married. I did all of that. Should I do as I did before? Will God be angry at me if I don’t? How do I understand where I was supposed to only sleep with one person and make it okay in my head that now I have to move on? I no longer have feelings for my ex. I have moved on in most ways, but I still get upset when I realize that I won’t be just sleeping with the one person. Most people don’t get what I’m upset about (they were all sleeping around when I wasn’t) and I haven’t really talked to anyone about this. I know that my questions are probably a little much, but this is something I have been thinking about a lot.
Thank you for your email.
Congratulations for making the decision to keep yourself for your first husband. It was a wonderful gift to give to him. I’m sorry to hear things didn’t work out and I understand you present situation.
Even though you intended to sleep with only one person in your life, God understands. Someday you may get married again and it is important that you refrain from premarital sex until then. This is the way God knows is best. Sex should still only be shared within marriage and it doesn’t make sense to share this kind of intimacy with someone who is not fully committed to you to the point of marriage. The Bible says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” – Hebrews 13:4. I hope you understand what I am saying because many women have given their boyfriends “favors” and they in turn find no reason to get married. I hope you see God’s wisdom in it all and that His way is the best.
PS. Do you know Jesus Christ in a personal way? Have you experienced the spiritual birth of being “born again”? Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” – John 3:3. Let me know if you haven’t because this is also important for a happy and successful marriage. God bless you!
